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Jesus' last words on the cross, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" hardly seem like the words of a man who planned it that way. It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure there is something wrong here. Donald Morgan
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The more I look at religion, the more I dislike it and what it does to the world and its people. This blog will help you understand why religion is something you shouldn't accept as a good thing in our lives. Above all, don't respect religious beliefs when their practitioners refuse to respect you.
As you can imagine, removing all my videos from YouTube didn't exactly thrill people. But hey ho, never mind! Onwards and upwards! I will be re-launching the book in 2009 (absolutely not via YouTube!), and while the songs will remain the same, I will be dropping that 'The Musical' sub-title. I have a few things in mind to replace it, but it has to go. It says little about the book's content and one or two people even told me how I'd got it all wrong, that for it a be a musical the songs inside should be linked together with a story, that that's how 'real' musicals work. Except of course that the book isn't a musical, and was never intended to be one. It's a book of songs from musicals. And so, yes, the sub-title is misleading. It's gone. The hot favourite (today at least) is to call the book Blasphemy! Anthems for Atheists. I like the word 'anthems' because it's generic enough to cover both songs and poetry (and of course the book is both), as well as beginning with the letter 'A' - gotta love that alliteration! Putting the word 'atheist' in the title may also bring in people who would search on major book sites for books about atheism. If you've already bought the book, no need to buy it again for something which simply has a new title/cover. You will of course own a book which has a very exclusive distribution, so if I ever hit the big time, hold onto those rare copies of the first edition! I'll be redesigning the web site soon. In a past life I was a web designer and computer programmer, so I think I'm up to the task. There's already lots of hidden technical wizardy delivering the site to you, but I will try to spice things up a little. The best ideas always come from looking at other sites which work well and 'borrowing' their ideas. Can anyone say 'evolution'?! That will all come when I decide what to actually do with this web site, of course. I will be promoting my books a little more prominently, and certainly this blog is a key part of the site. Everything else can go! Er, just kidding! Also in 2009 I will be writing a follow-up to Blasphemy! Anthems for Atheists (yep, I'm liking it already) with exactly the same idea - famous songs given new, atheist-targeted lyrics. I haven't decided what genre of songs to use next time, but it may well be musicals again, or perhaps famous pop songs. I enjoyed writing the Michael Jackson parody so who knows, that may even be one of the songs in the new book. Another way I could go is to do exactly what the old title suggests - a book with a theme, a storyline. That would be much more challenging and perhaps far more restricting in some respects, but I'll give it some thought. Does it concern me that my second book wasn't well-received by my YouTube audience? Of course it does. But it's also kicked away that crutch, the 'assumed support' of a previous audience. A post-launch reality check tells me that I had only 6000 (rapidly dwindling!) subscribers anyway. That's not exactly a world stage is it? I should aim higher. So that's the plan for 2009. All change!
I've just found out that good old Michael Jackson, the man with a face like a smashed Pinnochio puppet, has become... guess what? A Muslim. Yes, he's converted to Islam, mainly because he was too fucking weird for the Scientologists, so they told him to fuck off. But Islam, they'll let anybody join, so he's in. So one more reason to laugh at the weiro, eh? Remember that he has kids, so now instead of covering them with a blanket he can hide them in Burqas instead. Niiice! So anyway, as it's Michael Jackson, or should I say 'Mikaeel Jackson' cos he's also changed his name (a bit) I've adapted one of his songs to remind us what Islam is all about. This is not in my book, mainly because I only wrote it today, but if you want 100 more song parodies like this, they are all in there, so give it a try. This song is 'Billy Jean', but my version is 'Silly Dreams'. My singing days are now over, but feel free to sing along in your own video! I dedicate this song to AtheistAtLARGE, who knows all about this subject. Cheers, AAL! Click to play the video
The old videos are gone from my YouTube account. Here's why. The whole point of creating something new, my 'Blasphemy' book, was to try to push people into a new direction, to explore something different. And yet what happened? People started to unsubscribe. Some of them messaged me to say they didn't like what I was now doing and that I should make 'videos like the ones you used to make'. This was not just one or two - at least 200 subscribers left my channel the moment I started releasing my atheist poetry videos. Promoting a book of songs is always tricky when your singing voice is as bad as mine, but I hoped people could see through that and listen to the words instead. It's amazing how naive I could have been to think that. On every single video I made, 90% of the comments were something like 'your singing is awful'. Really? Didn't I say exactly that on the title screen of the videos themselves? No shit, Sherlock - big surprise to me. Not. Then, when I uploaded videos of me reciting the videos as straight, spoken-word poems, the comments were 'much better than your singing'. Again, few comments on the actual content. One or two people said, 'Bring back the singing' so I stupidly uploaded another singing video and it reverted to 'don't sing, you can't sing, you're a terrible singer... etc'. And always, every time I uploaded a new video, people would tell me to go back to what I used to do, to make videos like I used to make, to be the old Gisburne2000, while my subscriber numbers just went down and down and down as people left my channel. I worked for 14 long and hard weeks on my new book, and I did it because I thought it would be something I could enjoy sharing with the other atheists on YouTube. A few people left some appreciative comments, but they were in a minority. I have completely misjudged people and made the biggest mistake of my life by expecting atheists to be different from anyone else, expecting them to welcome something new and different. Far from enjoying the experience, it just left me feeling cold and hostile to the very people to whom I try to reach out every time I make a video. I have hated almost every minute of the experience of announcing my book release on YouTube, and that was something I did not anticipate. Most people watching my YouTube channel seem to want more of the same. They don't want to be taken down other, new paths. Gisburne2000 to them is someone who makes clever statements about religion. Poetry? Nah, he doesn't do that, he makes videos about evolution, about Noah's Ark, about bananas and motherfucking pineapples. I am so sick of being told how great that video with the pineapple is, and how much people like the 'I am God' video. Fuck that. I am done with it. My web site will be undergoing major, and I mean major surgery. Out with the old and in with the new. The new is whatever I put my mind to, whatever interests me. The 'old' are the videos I made long ago and which are gone for good. I have deleted all but a few of the videos in my YouTube account. I've done that before but this time I will not be reviving any of my old videos again. Ever. People either don't like my new book idea or don't understand it, and that's fine, I can deal with that. To some extent that is down to my inability to communicate exactly what it is. But what I despise most of all is being asked to forget it, to take a dozen steps back, to do exactly what everyone else is doing - the same thing they always did. I am not who I was. I have moved on. I still believe in everything I said in those old atheist videos, but if you long for 'the good old days', tough luck. These are the good new days. Welcome to the present, to my present. This is Nick Gisburne now, doing his own thing, in his own way, as all independent freethinkers should strive to do. That is what I've always tried to do. You just never noticed. Maybe one day I will be able to get your attention and make you think. I hope so. I'll try. Cheers Nick Gisburne
I'll shortly be explaining why my recent brief flirtation with YouTube started badly, went nowhere and ended dismally. For now, enjoy what was for me the sparkling highlight of the week, when Namari12 created this wonderful version of a song using my version of the lyrics:
Godless and Free
If you were watching my YouTube channel on the 14th you'll have seen a less than spectacular silent slideshow video announcing the release of Blasphemy! The Musical. To be honest, by that point I was so utterly drained from the effort of creating the book that the last thing I wanted to do was make a video. In fact as my friends would probably tell you, it was all I could do to speak coherently by then! However, I've now had a chance to recharge my batteries and this afternoon I made a new video. Correction. I made TWENTY TWO new videos! Yes indeed, I've recorded myself singing 22 of the songs from the book, and probably would have done more had I not got the munchies and gone for something to eat. So what does this all mean? What it means is that for days (maybe weeks) to come I will be uploading songs from the book onto YouTube. You will be able to see just how good the songs are and, as a bonus, how utterly BAD my singing voice really is! I need to add an intro to each of the songs first so you're not going to see them all at once (the horror of such an experience would probably close YouTube permanently) but expect something very soon. Forget the X-Factor - I have the Y-Factor... WHY? OH WHY?!! Note to self: look into the coercion angle - 'buy my book or your ear drums will suffer'.
I've now added a great new section to the web site which will allow anyone who buys the book (whadya mean what book?!) to match the songs in it with YouTube videos so that you can all sing along with the blasphemous version of the lyrics! Just click on the Blasphemy! The Musical link on the left side of every web page and you'll see a list of all 100 songs. It's as easy as clicking on the title. All 100 songs are available (even some which are now missing from YouTube). Note that this page is the section mentioned in the book - I've been working flat out to get it done before the first books are delivered. Yes, people are buying the book already! Yay! Don't forget that there are sample pages available too, so even if you don't have the book yet you still have access to several complete songs, free of charge. Have fun!
To buy the book right now CLICK HERE Want to download sample book pages and songs? CLICK HERE Stay tuned for more information and of course much more blasphemy!
Blasphemy! The Musical
Blasphemy! The Musical will be officially released tomorrow, 14 November 2008. Definitely. It's done, it's checked, it's uploaded to the publisher, it's 100% complete and ready. Not long to wait then? Well... As promised, those of you who visit this web site can buy the book a day early. That's right - it's available NOW! Click right here to buy Blasphemy! The Musical right now! But this is just between us, okay? It's our little secret... just until tomorrow anyway!
 Okay, so the 12th was an 'almost certain' release date, so I'm able to tell you that the book will not be finished by the 12th after all. It's all down to the long job of adding pictures, so here's why there will be a delay:My original plan was to sprinkle a few well-chosen images here and there in the book, just to liven it up a little. Then when I got down to it I realised that I could find more suitable pictures than I had anticipated. And now I'm aiming to put at least one picture on every two-page spread, just because I can! I have 25 such 'spreads' left to do, and with my limit of 10 pix per day (imposed by my subscription to the picture library I'm using) that is 3 days. That will be Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. So... Friday 14 November 2008 is definitely the planned release date for Blasphemy! The Musical and it would take a major disaster for that not to happen now. Nothing is ever 100% certain, but I am more certain than ever that the book will be out on Friday. Two extra days isn't too bad, and the finished, picture-laden book will not disappoint, I promise you. See you soon!
The proof copy of Blasphemy! The Musical has arrived! And it looks great! More than great! In fact... it looks every bit as good as I'd hoped, and I had very high hopes. Of course since then I've been adding dozens of pictures to the book, so the finished article will be even better than the copy I have in my grubby little paws.The proof copy of the book was ordered early (minus most of the pictures inside) just to confirm that the cover worked well and the pages looked good. It's a slightly shorter book (192 pages) than The Atheists Are Revolting! (216 pages) so I had to make sure that the title fits onto the spine, and all the other technical stuff to do with fonts, margins, etc. Nothing to worry about - it's all good. The pictures I'm using are really putting the icing on the cake. I'm using a subscription to a reputable stock photo agency, which involves searching through zillions of images, but how do you find something which would go well with a song called Jewish, Busty And Hung Over? It takes a lot of time and no small measure of lateral thinking, I can tell you, but it's all falling into place. I have around 30 images still to add to the book and I'm currently adding 10 per day, so here's that date again: 12 November 2008. It's looking like I will definitely release the book on that date. You'll hear it here first because I may not make a YouTube announcement immediately, so for those of you dedicated enough to hang around this web site, you'll be the first to know. See you in 4 days!
All being well, Blasphemy! The Musical will be available 12 November 2008. However, that does depend on everything going to plan - if the proof copy doesn't look so good (though I've no reason to believe it won't be fine) I may put back that date. In fact the only delay will come if the proof copy doesn't actually turn up at all! Meanwhile I'm adding more great pictures to the book (which won't affect the proofing) and it's looking better and better all the time. So write that in your diary: 12 November 2008. More news will appear here, if and when I know any more. Stay tuned!
Although the main content of Blasphemy! The Musical is complete, I've made the decision not to rush the release of the book because I want to add even more goodies.Firstly, I have to get the back cover just right, since it's the second thing, after the front cover, people will see, and is the thing which will help to sell the book. People really do judge books by their covers, so the blurb on the back has to be just right. So for the past 3 days (on top of the weeks of ideas I've been jotting down as they occurred to me) I've been working on that. I think I've finally nailed it, subject to looking good on the proof copy. Next: illustrations. The cover picture for The Atheists Are Revolting! was a free, public-domain photo of the Earth, provided by NASA, but I wanted to spend some money on getting better quality photos for the book, hence the 'eyes' photo and a great looking cartoon for the back cover. However, I've been toying with the idea of adding pictures inside the book, just to jazz things up a little! So 'Pole Dancers In The Mosque' should have (what else?) a photo of a pole dancer... and so on. Adding illustrations is going to take a while, if only because I will have to find, pay for, edit and insert the images into the book. I have 7-10 days in mind for that job, so I hope you'll be patient. I promise it will be worth the wait, and of course if I'm done before then you will be the first to know. Right now I'm waiting for delivery of a proof copy of the book (minus illustrations) so that I can check the layout. And I have a lot of work to do on this web site because it's very much a sing-along book - and you will of course need to have a central place to visit to find the original songs so that you can sing (or maybe hum!) along with my blasphemy-laden lyrics. So let me go and work - I'm on a tight schedule here folks! |
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