
In case you hadn't yet realised (where have you been?) I am writing a book of 100 songs, cruelly ripped from the belly of the best and biggest musicals of all time, their lyrics discarded and replaced with 100% BLASPHEMY!
For earlier extracts you'll need to look back to the September 2008 blogs, but here are five more salacious snippets from Blasphemy! The Musical:
The Fakest Faith By Far
Swinging On a Star (Going My Way)
The Mormon faith is fakest by far
Their beliefs are truly bizarre
With the strangest stories there are
And every Mormon is a fool
The Mormon religion is a fantasy tale
It's hard to believe it wouldn't fail
Some ancient Jewish people sailed away
They built huge cities in the USA
And just for fun, Jesus wandered over too
They must be mad to think it's true
They Praise, Preach, Hate, Chant And Sing
I Just Can't Wait to be King (The Lion King)
The only thing that Jesus freaks
Do quietly is prayer
And if that was all they tried to do
I wouldn't really care
But then they try converting me
It happens more and more
They stop me walking in the street
Or knock upon my door
With news of how to save me from my sin
As they praise, preach, hate, chant and sing
He's Obsessed
Be Our Guest (Beauty And The Beast)
He's obsessed, he's obsessed
Acts as though he's been possessed
The old man who lives next door to me
Is paranoid at best
Blew a fuse when he learned
That religion I have spurned
Though an atheist can't harm him
His reaction was alarming
Jesus Is Round
Send In The Clowns (A Little Night Music)
Christ has an itch
Don't ask me where
Weighs more than four hundred pounds
Breaks every chair
Jesus is round
Taking a piss?
Difficult move
Toilets are one thing he's found
He just can't use
Pees on the ground
Jesus is round
The Church Of Mindless Grins
Colors Of The Wind (Pocahontas)
The only face you'll see them wear is gleeful
But a lesson in life is overdue
Religion only dulls the pain of living
Just one thing can pull you through, and that is you
I would never give my life up to a cult of fools
It's clear their reason ends where faith begins
And however loud the madness they are shouting
I will never ask forgiveness for my sins
I will never join their Church of Mindless Grins