As announced earlier this month, I am currently writing 100 songs for a book provisionally called
Blasphemy! The Musical, in which I'm creating new lyrics for well-known show tunes. So that you know exactly what you'll be getting in the final book, I've decided to release short extracts from each song, plus the original titles of the movies/shows in which they can be found. I'll be posting 5 songs per day until I catch up with the current list. As I write I've already written 35 songs, so this will take a while! Here goes...
Three Little Parts of God
Three Little Maids From School (The Mikado)
Three little parts of God are we
Joined into one - the Trinity
Quite a conundrum you'll agree
Three little parts of God
...
Three little parts, and each all-knowing
Part of a lie which keeps on growing
Logic and reason, neither's showing
Three little parts of God
I Am The Very Model of a Knowledgeable Atheist
I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-General (The Pirates of Penzance)
I am the very model of a knowledgeable atheist
I've information Catholic and Mormon and Creationist
I know the Ten Commandments and the books of all the Testaments
It's certainly incredible for some they still have relevance
...
The Bible I have studied more than most in Christianity
I'm excellent at pointing out the flaws in its theology
In short, in matters Methodist and Baptist and Evangelist
I am the very model of a knowledgeable atheist
A School Full of Science
A Spoonful of Sugar (Mary Poppins)
ID just doesn't pass the test
Their so-called scientists detest
All critical attempts to probe and dig
They try an ever-changing route
To counter each thing we refute
We'll prove them wrong - it won't take very long
For a school full of science breaks Intelligent Design
There isn't any sign
Of evidence divine
Just a school full of science breaks Intelligent Design
Leaving it in disarray
Freak Cult Sci-Fi
Sweet Transvestite (Rocky Horror Picture Show)
Where were you in
'52 when
L Ron had the plan?
He wrote some part of it down
Really went to town
That's where this story all began
It's so far out
But a tempting hook
Just take the bait to discover
When your audit began
You paid cash in hand
And your credit may never recover
Believe in freak cult sci-fi
It's all fictional
Scientology
Al-Qaeda! (al-ky-ee-da)
Oklahoma! (Oklahoma!)
Al-Qaeda!
Training mad jihadis for the planes
Quote an ancient book and make it look
Like the Muslim world has gone insane
Al-Qaeda!
Only crazed fanatics should apply
Taking bombs worldwide for suicide
So that crowds of infidels will die
Remember that these are just extracts - the final book will contain the full sing-along versions of 100 beautifully blasphemous songs! More extracts tomorrow!