A couple of notable things happened to me yesterday (the second one overlapped midnight hence the change of date). First, the Jehovah's Witnesses did what they always do:

THE FUCKERS KNOCKED ON THE DOOR AND GOT ME OUT OF BED

Well surprise fucking surprise. Who'd have thought the Jovos would have knocked at the door when I am not yet up? In fact I was so stunned to be awake at that time (I'd only gone to bed at 5am and it didn't seem like I had actually had any sleep, that I didn't realise it was them and just assumed it was some random religious people dropping round for an argument.

Which they got.

I'm not really going to go into all the details, but on the Jovo retard team we had two men who said several of the following things. They are in no particular order, but his introduction of each point was almost as random as I've shown here:

1. They said: To create electricity you need to have water. He knew this because he'd helped to build a power station years ago.
   I said: no you don't you just need a magnet and some wire. Spin the magnet inside the wire. Result: electricity.

2. They said: But to create a magnet you need carbon. (WTF?! Magnetic carbon?!)
   I said: No, magnets occur naturally. Just find some magnetite (note: there is no carbon in magnetite in case you were wondering, it's an oxide of iron)

3. They said:God had always been there.
   I said:The universe has always been there

4. They said: God made the light
   I said: How did he make the light before he made the sun and the stars?

5. They said: To have a creation you need to have a creator.
   I thought: Fuck me you imbeciles, the last video I did for YouTube was a complete demolition of exactly this subject, and it's as fresh in my mind as anything ever could be. This is like shooting fish in a barrel. So...
   I said: (insert most of the arguments given in my video)
   They of course gave the same bullshit responses such as 'you just have to look at the firmament to know it's been created'. Bollocks. You just had to look into their eyes to know they were as clueless as the day they were born.

6. They said: So you think this all came out of the Big Bang? When has an explosion ever created anything?
   I said: The Big Bang was an expansion of energy and matter, not an explosion as we commonly understand the term, and it got the name Big Bang from Fred Hoyle, a scientist who was making derogatory comments about the theory, after which the name stuck. (They had obviously not heard of Fred Hoyle)

7. They went on to explain in very basic terms how evolution was rubbish, and that we didn't all evolve from apes. I said that nobody who understood evolution ever said that, and had they read 'The Evolution of Species' by Charles Darwin?
   They both said: No.
   I said: If you are going to argue against something, shouldn't you actually know what you are talking about rather than just giving out false information? I explained that I'd read the Bible and in fact read it most days.

8. They said: If the Sun was closer we wouldn't be able to live on the planet.
   I said: Yes would would, in fact there is quite a large zone where the Earth can be in relation to the sun before it's either too hot or too cold.

9. They said: Back on the electricity again, they were determined to prove that God breathed life into dust, and bizarrely told me that if you put electricity into clay it became animated.
   I should have said: So Wallace and Gromit are evidence of God?
   I actually said: Not a lot. How can you respond to clay + electricity = animation?

10. They said: If you get sick you'll go to the doctor? So if your spirit is sick you'll go to God.
    I said: I'm not sick. (And later thought: actually, if I was a Jehovah's Witness and my leg was severed and I needed a blood transplant, I would of course refuse it and die. Bad analogy, guys - when you really need help, God's holy word has told you not to bother).

11. Somewhere in the middle they mentioned Jesus and I said the Trinity meant there were 3 gods and they then laughed merrily and said that the Trinity was a ridiculous idea and they didn't believe it at all. Yeah, right. So the clay thing and the other stuff about an invisible creator, that didn't rub your funny bone at any point? Idiots.

To be honest, all of the above was falling on deaf ears, and then they had the cheek to say that I was the one with a closed mind. Meanwhile they just had a pair of annoying smiles like a couple of simpletons, and occasionally laughed when I gave them some scientific fact that was beyond their comprehension (ie most of it).

There is more I could tell you, but as you can probably tell by the haphazard way I am just putting down some of the conversation, I really don't give a toss what they said because the Jehovah's Witnesses are just morons who should have their hands removed so they can never knock on a door again. Ever. They have nothing to say which bears any resemblance at all to rational thought, and why should I listen to fuckwits like this?

One last thing though: after all this conversation, which just went into their ears and out again, I mentioned that I'd written a book about atheism and they asked to see it and to read it. So one of them now has it, and promised to bring it back once he read it. In what I thought was a very untrusting way he asked me what my name was, and when I said it was on the book he covered up the name and said, "No, you tell me." Cheeky bastard.

I would have had much more to say to them had I not been in need of a drink, with a mouth like the inside of Gandhi's flip-flop, but that might be why they descend on the neighbourhood in packs (there were what looked like a dozen of them on the street) and wake you up without warning. Shock and bore tactics.

I'm done talking to them. They know my views now, they are in the book (although I doubt it will be read), so if they ever knock again they can fuck off (after giving the book back - I paid good money for that). As you can probably tell, I was in a bad mood all day after that encounter.

Remember this from a while ago...?

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I said there were two things. The other one came right at the end of a film I was watching, called Constantine. Excellent film, highly recommended, and the theme is one of possession, exorcism, Catholicism, etc. Fantasy, sci-fi, religion, all mixed together. Great stuff.

It took me 4 hours to watch it because for some reason as I was doing so I was inspired to write down ideas for at least two, possibly three, new YouTube videos and/or blogs, and had to keep pausing the DVD. I've been a bit bored with religion (again), hence the lack of new blogs lately, but I was writing pages of the stuff, hence the extra time taken to watch the movie. Watch out for the results shortly, hopefully.

That wasn't what I wanted to tell you, however. What really tickled me was right at the very end of the credits, where you get the usual disclaimers about no animals being harmed, etc. Almost the last words were:

The story, all names, characters and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious.

Some of the characters in Constantine? God, Satan, and the Archangel Gabriel.

Well I thought it was funny anyway.