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BS proof of God's existence
Argument From A Bad Trip
Consider this
I do not believe in the god of theology who rewards good and punishes evil Albert Einstein
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The more I look at religion, the more I dislike it and what it does to the world and its people. This blog will help you understand why religion is something you shouldn't accept as a good thing in our lives. Above all, don't respect religious beliefs when their practitioners refuse to respect you.
The full Noah story, with a difference... it's all poetry. Expect the hip-hop remix next. Or not. Noah: The Transvestite Years Genesis 6-9 - Ham is a pork product right?
In days of old these tales were told About a man called Noah And of his wife who gave him strife Her pants she would not lower How many times did they have sex? Well actually not many 500 years did Noah live Before she gave him any But sons she had, she gave him three The first two blonde and balding The third had dark hair and a beard Mohammed's what they called him But God was angry. "Choose a name More Jewish, blast and damn!" "A Jewish name? We'll shorten it" And so they called him Ham But God was angry and he killed The whole world under water And only Noah's family And pets escaped the slaughter The Ark did float for forty days While rain around them fell But life inside a floating zoo Can really fucking smell At last the rain it went away The Ark stood on a mountain For God did spare the chosen eight The genocide? Who's counting? The breeding program now began And Noah had some trouble To feed so many animals In fields of mud and rubble So God did cheat and waved his hand And lo the crops were planted But Noah had one final wish And prayed that it be granted "Please God," he said, we need some meat This diet makes me edgy A burger or some chicken wings But please don't keep us veggie And lo, God made a barbecue An altar with a griddle But God did eat so many steaks He grew fat round the middle With indigestion God did fly But rest rooms were there none So God he made the asteroids He shit out every one Wow what a fucking party, eh? Said God on his return The world's first chili sacrifice Has made my arse hole burn Look God, said Noah, promise me That flood won't get repeated The Ark you gave us really stank And wasn't central heated But God said "Fuck off, I'm in charge I'll tell you what I'll do Each time a rainbow's in the sky The message is ‘fuck you'" I'll kill you fuckers when I please You'll like it or you'll leave it So get down on your fucking knees I'm God so just believe it And God did bury pots of gold Beneath the rainbow's end He thought he'd catch some leprechauns He's clearly round the bend Much later Noah drank some wine From grapes that he had grown He took his clothes off, pissed himself And staggered off back home And Ham (Muhammad to his friends) Found Noah cold and bare And for a laugh put lipstick on And ribbons in his hair Ham's brothers found their girl-faced Dad With bra and panties on They knew Muhammad was to blame But he'd fucked off, he'd gone When Noah woke he'd puked again The drag queen was a mess He quickly scrubbed the makeup off But thought he'd keep the dress Three hundred years and fifty Noah never lived it down He couldn't even show his face in any part of town But every now and then he'd wear Some sexy sequinned numbers And do some really awful things With fishnets and cucumbers The people who lived longer may have filled a brave new world But Noah always wondered what's it like to be a girl? |
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